I’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts over the past couple of months. Being totally candid, I haven’t cooked dinner in over a week and it’s a miracle that I’ve done any laundry. (I needed clean hosiery. That’s the only reason why the some of the piles have been sifted through and washed.) I come home every day and end up falling asleep on the couch for an hour or two, and by that point, I’m too groggy and I’m no longer hungry. Plus, it’s not like we have much food around – I haven’t gone to the grocery store. I feel like a lousy wife, but I just do not have the energy when I get off of work. The only reason that my house is clean is because we have a housekeeper once every couple of weeks.
I keep daydreaming back to the times when life was more simple. The only things I had to worry about were writing papers and taking exams (ha – it seemed so stressful then…and seems so trivial now!) There is this one moment that I keep thinking back on. Kris and I were about a week away from getting married and we’d purchased our house a couple of months before. As you know, we had to paint our entire home – every inch of it, trim to wall to ceiling. This one moment I keep recalling is when we were painting our bedroom. I’d graduated from Clemson and the only thing on my mind was getting married! It was so stress-free…the calm before the storm. I can honestly say that the hardest adjustment when we got married was not marriage itself, but adjusting to being a grown-up.
And I still haven’t fully adjusted.
whitney, you are going through a time i remember well. my married days before kids were more carefree than yours because i was a “full time musician”
but when the babies started arriving, i had some very depressed days (even tho i was super happy with the babies) because it hit me in the face that my time was not my own anymore. it was a challenging growing process. be encouraged! the Lord is preparing you and He will restore your energy – and your desire to cook dinner!
thanks cindy. i said to kris last night, “i feel…i feel…totally stretched.” and then it was like BING! Hello Whitney! this is totally the Lord stretching me. uncomfortable…yes. but grateful….yes.
Girl…I have had those same thoughts at times, too. Thinking back to college days…we thought THAT was hard & stressful…ha! Know that I am praying for you though. I hold tight to these lyrics in times like this:
“In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm”
That whole song is encouraging. I love you friend, let me know if I can ever do anything for you!